i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
