I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
