New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
