Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
