this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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