i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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