hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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