So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize