You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
