We named our party play list daddy issues
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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