erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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