3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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