Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
