every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize