I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
