their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
