I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
