remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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