It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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