Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
