Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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