i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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