Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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