I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
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