Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
