Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
