Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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