She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
