When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
