I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
