just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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