does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
