Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
19 Utterly Perfect Responses To ‘Send Nudes’ Texts
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again