Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(251): View more from Alabama

I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed

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(251): I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed http://tfl.nu/pqx7

Replies (14) Good night (1006) Bad night (4289)
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(801): View more from Utah

just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk

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(801): just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk http://tfl.nu/d8b4

Replies (75) Good night (9726) Bad night (816)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."

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(304): I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God." http://tfl.nu/1oy5

Replies (21) Good night (10482) Bad night (1687)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.

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(508): the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell. http://tfl.nu/o2wo

Replies (12) Good night (883) Bad night (6083)
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(805): View more from California

That bad?

(1-805): View more from California

Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.

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(805): That bad? (1-805): Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding. http://tfl.nu/ntsx

Replies (14) Good night (1000) Bad night (4775)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.

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(910): me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a. http://tfl.nu/1fan

Replies (5) Good night (2427) Bad night (1609)
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(516): View more from New York

i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher

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(516): i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher http://tfl.nu/pmh4

Replies (5) Good night (2445) Bad night (1104)
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(575): View more from New Mexico

Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?

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(575): Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night? http://tfl.nu/drd1

Replies (9) Good night (3403) Bad night (779)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...

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(604): he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink... http://tfl.nu/ok76

Replies (20) Good night (1025) Bad night (3788)
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(559): View more from California

He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year

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(559): He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year http://tfl.nu/93v6

Replies (8) Good night (1385) Bad night (812)
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(765): View more from Indiana

Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.

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(765): Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday. http://tfl.nu/5inc

Replies (1) Good night (886) Bad night (689)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!

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(570): It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?! http://tfl.nu/21am

Replies (11) Good night (2558) Bad night (592)
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(720): View more from Colorado

My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future

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(720): My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future http://tfl.nu/mos1

Replies (4) Good night (702) Bad night (511)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".

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(920): We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started". http://tfl.nu/xqcg

Replies (0) Good night (634) Bad night (380)
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(716): View more from New York

I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor

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(716): I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor http://tfl.nu/okrw

Replies (0) Good night (279) Bad night (453)

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