I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.