did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.