your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
THAT is your concern right now?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
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how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
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So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups