Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
