I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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