So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
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