she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Hippo gnu deer
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
