NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
