when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
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My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
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Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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