Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
