Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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