I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
