We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
