I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
