OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
handjob tips. give me some.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
