Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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