This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
