What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
