Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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