Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
