that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
