I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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