So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize