Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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