the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
