mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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