I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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