I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Randomize
