I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
sex in a hospital.. check
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
