Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
