And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I don't want my vagina anymore.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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