that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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