I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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