no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
