I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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