when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
